As the weeks before a race draw to a close, my mind begins to whirl with crazy ideas. The “what if’s…” so to speak.
What if I don’t make it to the start line on time?
What if my alarm doesn’t go off? (I usually set alarms on two different devices because I’m SO paranoid about it!)
What if my knee acts crazy?
What if I forget something at home?
The list of “what if’s” is endless and most of them aren’t in my physical control. I do tend to have a bit of race anxiety, so I have to constantly ask myself…why worry about something you can’t fix?
In my case, when I wake up in the morning and attempt to fall back asleep, I have crazy, insane, off the wall dreams. Add that with race anxiety and I’m sure you can imagine what happens!
Sunday morning was one such moment…and it was vivid so I remember details!
I was running the Wine & Dine Half Marathon and approaching the finish line….excited because I ran the Inaugural Wine & Dine and couldn’t wait to add the 5th Anniversary medal to my collection. After crossing the finish line, runners were ushered into an area marked off with a giant tent – it was as if black tarps had been put up on poles to contain the medal area. I was given a sheet of paper with after party instructions and told to continue on my way. As I reached the exit area of the tents, I realized I never received a medal. I turned around to tell the nearest person I saw (who also happened to be a runDisney Cast Member) what happened. That’s when the oddest thing happened – he didn’t believe me!! He told me that NO one gets through the medal area without receiving a medal. I even attempted to re-demonstrate what happened (I was reading the paper they gave me, looking down, and not paying attention) and he still wouldn’t listen to me. I continued arguing with him and before I knew it, he and the entire runDisney crew were at my house in Louisiana so I could prove myself. There were about four or five 18 passenger vans in my driveway. (What. The. Heck.)
I continued trying to demonstrate my point and still didn’t get anywhere with him. After going back and forth for a while, he decided to look my finish time up online. That’s when we discovered my finish time wasn’t even recorded! It looked as if I never finished the race!! He left my house disgusted with me. As they were getting in their car to leave, I pulled up video footage of the finish line and ran outside with my laptop to prove I did complete the race. Still, he wouldn’t listen to me. As they drove off, he finally yelled out the window that he didn’t believe me because he knew I already received a medal was trying to get a second one to sell on eBay.
I came back inside the house incredibly frustrated and mystified, then I woke up to the sound Madalynn whining for her breakfast.
Needless to say, I woke up and sighed...“whew…it wasn’t real”. My next thought was “what in the world….???”
On a funnier…lighter note, I also had a dream back around Christmas time. I don’t remember all the crazy details, but it was a vivid dream as well!
I was out eating at an unfamiliar restaurant and I ran into Lance Bass. Now, if you know me…you know I’m a huge NSYNC fan…..specifically, Lance Bass was my favorite. Absolute favorite. We talked for a while like old friends (riiiight) and before long, a friend of his walked over. Lance began to introduce me to his friend…who happened to be Joey Fatone! I laughed and told Lance that Joey and I already met in Disneyland (as if he actually remembered me). Of course, Joey said “Oh yeah! You were the Mousketeer!” We started to chat and I asked if Joey had any other runDisney events on his list. His response, “Oh yea! Definitely! I’ll always be at every runDisney event, they are the best!” I left the restaurant with a light and happy heart, knowing Joey would be involved with other runDisney events in the future!
When I woke up, I realized it was only a dream and thought, “Sad times…he won’t be at Princess!” Ha!
I also once witnessed (in real life, this wasn’t a dream) two different people frantically running around the TTC trying to get to the start of the Half Marathon. It was after 5:30 a.m. (runners hadn’t made it through the TTC just yet). I felt so awful for the two and wondered if they were allowed to start the race. I always feared that would happen to me and have had several dreams about not making it to the start line on time.
How about you? What crazy dreams plague you when race anxiety begins to kick in?
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